Fat Geordie loses job

The Mail's exclusively revealed today that the reason poor old Cheryl Cole lost her job in the States, patronising deluded singing wannabies, wasn't because no one can understand a word she's saying but actually 'cos she's chubby.

Like a chump she'd been working hard on this in the traditional manner of good diet and hard exercising. This offered the paper a delightful opportunity to publish a picture of her all sweaty and flouting a sports bra. Unfortunately it was all for nought, she obviously ran out of time.

Lacking a sports bra!

If only it was two years in the future, she could have popped a pill and Bob's your aunty's live-in famine victim.

Although to be honest I'm not too sure Fiona Macrae knows what she's talking about, she promised the exact same thing would be available in months back in 2007??

Then in 2008 she asks...

A good rule of thumb is that any headline in the Daily Mail that asks a question should be met with a polite but firm NO.

We don't want to encourage them now do we. Tweet